ASS On Fire Takes You Higher

For anyone who comes to me with Stupid Questions. I have the following: Rule of thumb: If it can be Googled, don't ask me! Unless of course : A. You are too lazy to Google it, so you rather use me to do it for you. B. You don't have time to Google it, so you rather use my time to do it for you. C. You don't trust Google, in which case you trust that I might end up Googling it anyways..( circularity here.. ) D. You already searched in Google, to no avail. E. You can't Google ( that's sad ). F. Your question is really unGooglable. ( What kind of question is that? ) G. You want the human element in the mix, you want to interact with me ( how nice of you ). H. Other possible scenarios ( ? ). THIS IS COSMIC BLASTING OFF !!!!!!!!

Sorry the women of the world. But I couldn't help it. When people share something on Social Networking sites, I don't know why, But I always get a weird itch, which makes me want to always respond to them or to put it correctly. Always dis-agree with them. So another post which was a response to one of my friend's Facebook Status updates: The original facebook post: And my response: Why do boys dont need a girl friend ? Coz she -will never leave u alone . Even when you ask her to. PERIOD -will see to it that u cant get any of ur work done -will make sure u don't skip to pay for her meals.. -will ask u to leave all ur habits everyday, everytime.. -will fight with u. -will spend all your money -will be the reason for all your worries -will make u punctual when something needs to be done for her.. -will help u restrain ur anger..by making it a constant state of mind all the time -will talk to you 15 times a day to know what you're doing..Even ...

Ok, Here we go.. ( DAMN ! You meeting invites, leave me alone on a Friday ) ..  ( After 3 hours , 5 coffees and 4 conference calls ) Ok.. This time, let’s definitely go. But Again I Digress , - These used to be my 3 favorite words.  ( Ohh.. wait a minute, that’s 4 words )  Anyways moving on. So as I was saying, These ' n ' number of words were my favorite which I used to use in almost every post I ever wrote. Why You ask me ?  ( Ok, even if you don’t ask me I will still tell you anyways. It’s not like you have a choice, Since I am the one writing and you are the one reading. ) Yes, so where were we? Ohh yes... Why did I digressed such a lot,  Simple Da/Ra/Macha/Bondhu/Mitra/Yaar/ Hot Female/Not So Hot Female/Any Female.. (Really a female reading what I write. Bucket List No 67 - Accomplished ) I Digress because I have a very small attention span. If I start talking about one thing, pretty soon I would be talking about the weather in Timbak...

Another day and another post taken from one of my Emails to my colleagues. This post was a response to an Email from my boss: " What makes you content in life.. Money..Achievements & Recognition (Awards )..Or the smaller things ..like the cliched ‘good bottle of wine and a good book/movie’ or writing defect less code , going on crazy & adventurous trips etc And more importantly ..when do you think you are content..Will you be able to realise it when you get there…will you stop your “Search for Happyness " My Reply is below: ( There might be lots of typos and grammatical mistakes, which I don't want to correct, as this mail was written in the heat of the moment and I think should remain so. ) Content/Happiness/Satisfaction… Is a very nimble and rapidly changing State of mind This state of Satisfaction varies with Time and situation in life. A Normal Human being ( including me ) I can’t put a finger on a commodity, an achievement or a state if mind a...

How can you stay mad at this guy ? THIS IS COSMIC BLASTING OFF !!!!!!!!

Today morning I had a chat conversation with one of my colleagues, when he pinged me a what I suppose is a Head Lines from The Times of India. The transcript is below: Colleague 10:07 AM The monk who sold Apples rofl times of india wala Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:08 AM India Says: We made him the Monk that he was So Indians are the ones who changed the World of Computing Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:08 AM Congress Steps up and declares: We were in Power when he visited Colleague     10:08 AM lol Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:08 AM So gandhi family takes all credit Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:09 AM Then RSS and BJP retort , that Steve went to meet some baba so Hindutva Prevails And then Kerala and Bengal mein Strike.. Why didnt Steve Jobs visit these two places, Lets BoyCott all Apple Products Cholbey Naa...Cholbey Naa... Colleague       10:10 AM ha ah ha Ok now back to work... DISCLAIMER: I am not-politic...

You meet someone, and after Hi, Hellos and few laughs move on. But what if these Unknowns decide to stay and follow you around ? Meddle and Mess in everything you do.  You keep on wondering, Did I send the wrong message ? Was it not clear from the beginning that the initial Hie , will also have an associated Bye ? These Uninvited Unknowns have the Uncanny habit of getting on your nerves and driving you insane all within the span of a few minutes. No matter how much to try and ignore them, They would still linger around the edges and just when you think you have got rid of them, They pop in again like an Idiotic Ghost in a B Grade Horror Movie. You don't want to be rude and harsh with them and ask them to DASH OFF once and for all, And you can't stand them being around. SIGH !! .. A dilemma I face day in and day out and the count of Uninvited Unknowns keeps on rising. THIS IS COSMIC BLASTING OFF !!!!!!!!