Sunday, March 18, 2012

Non Violence Triumphs Again

Background Information: I am a Bengali who is currently living in Kerala and doesn't speak Malayalam.

It all started just like any other lazy weekend. Getting up at 0500 , not being able to sleep again.. blah .. blah...

Finally at 1600 Hours  I decided to go and get some lunch.
Took my bike , rode on road, went to shop and parked.

Suddenly an Uncle comes out of no-where and starts screaming at me in Malayalam. Now me being sleep deprived on a Saturday afternoon I couldn't understand a single word he was screaming at me.
(Also the fact that I don't speak the language didn't help much I guess)

I tried to explain to him in both English and Hindi that I am not able to understand what he is saying as I don't understand Malayalam.

But uncle continued his screaming match.

Then I pointed to my ear and made the sign that I couldn't  hear him.
(No don't ask me why I did that. I guess in my sleepiness I thought the sign means that I don't understand him... Well anywho.. moving on..)

Finally I was at the end of my wits and after my weird sign language only made the uncle more angry and his screaming increased in pitch.

I started chatting with the Uncle in Bangla, The conversation from my end went something like this:

(Translated from Bangla.. Of Course)
"Hie Uncle, How are you ? Ohh...No Uncle, I haven't seen Kahani yet. I heard that Vidya Balan is really good in that movie."

(Uncle still screaming..)

"She goes to Kolakata in that movie na Uncle ? I have never been to Kolkata, even though I am a Bengali. Too bad right ? I know !!"

(Uncle still going strong..)

"Vidya is a superb actress Uncle, I know she is a Malayalee but she seems right at home in Kolkata in the trailer of the movie"

(Now Uncle slows down his screaming a bit and starts looking at me weirdly..)

"And Uncle the funniest part of the Trailer is when the fat policeman calls her Bidya instead of Vidya as in Bangla they are the same. And uncle do you know about the Climax of the movie .. ?? I heard it's awesome ...."

(At this point, Uncle, Shuts Up.. Turns Around and Walks away..)

So you see Gentlemen and Ladies, Non-Violence Triumphs again.. Gandhi said (or at least people say that Gandhi said so): "If someone slaps you turn your other cheek as well"

Well I say: "If someone slaps you, Starts thanking them in a different language while making weird signs."

What I actually think happened: Uncle heard the words: Kahani, Vidya Balan, Climax.

Probably thought that I am going to disclose the climax of Kahani to him and ran away.

Warning To Readers: "If any of you reveal the Climax in the comments below, before I have seen the movie. I promise you I will hunt you down.. And chat with you in Bangla"



Pooja Abhay said...

Hilarious :)

Uncle must have ran to book tickets for himself and his wife :)

cosmic_wanderer said...


Shucks !! :( ..

In that case even that Uncle got to see the movie before I did :(

Kinara :) said...

I just saw the movie today !!
And I so much want to reveal the climax! May I? Please? Please?Please?

Uma Uthra said...

LOL post :P :P poor mallu uncle :P :P

cosmic_wanderer said...

@Girl around the Corner (Yaa.. You Kinara )

Glad that you enjoyed the movie. But if you reveal the Climax, I will not only come to hunt you down and chat in Bangla.. But also in toota phoota German..

And believe me thats worse than being tortured :P

cosmic_wanderer said...

@ Uma,

Why does everyone only sympathize with Uncles.. :P

What about poor lil old me :(

A Homemaker's Utopia said...

ha.ha..Really enjoyed reading...Nice post...:-)You gave me a nice tip to deal with Tamil here..:-)

Sachin said...

Back to Kerala? When did you come back from the land of Kangaroos and Koalas to the land of well, stranger animals?

Kanthu said...

I have done it myself. But I used English instead of Bangla(:p). The Ungle would have scratched his head atleast for an hour aftr the incident, I assume...;-)

Dr Mandeep Khanuja said...

oh you are a 'he' !!! hahaa but your blog looks like that of a girl....please don't feel bad,but it does :)

Sachin said...

Hey... why are some of my comments disappearing?

cosmic_wanderer said...


Great..!! Blogger was putting all your Comments in SPAM

cosmic_wanderer said...


Back to Kerala? When did you come back

Couple of Months ago.. The company couldnt afford to keep an extremely talented and all that kind of resource like me sitting and enjoying Kangaroo land for too long.

banti said...

-Good piece of information.

VARUN.K.R said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
VARUN.K.R said...

i sympathizes you for not knowing the hard language.. i'm a i know how hard it is to understand for a outsider.... SYMPATHIES :D ....
SYMPATHIES :D... a lot of SYMPATHIES for you... :D

Souvik D. said...

etreme dude !! winning :)

Unknown said...

Awesome man!!!! seriously Funny :D

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