Monday, November 19, 2012

The force of Gravity

Gravity, defined by Wikipedia as: “A natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract each other (with a force proportional to their masses).”

That’s the scientific law, defined by scientists based on facts, logic, experimentation and observations. It holds true in the Physical world. No questions asked.

But what about the world which we weave in our minds, the world where laws of Physics don’t apply. A world where we fly in our dreams and fall in our nightmares.
As evident by our dreams, in this imaginary world the force of gravity does not always hold true. 

The same applies to the second part of the law: “…physical bodies attract each other with a force proportional to their masses.” 
In this world conceived by our minds, it is not always necessary that to have the force of attraction there needs to be 2 physical entities which attract each other. (And definitely not proportional to their masses)

Often seen the force of attraction in our own worlds defies the laws of gravity and are only exerted from one entity to another with no force being exerted from the other end.

The mind makes us believe that this law is tangible and hold true. But logic proves it otherwise.

And when we defy our own logic and start believing in our imagination and perform actions in the physical world which are a direct consequence of the imaginary world’s beliefs and forces, it can lead to wonderful or horrible results.

What am I talking about here? Mehh.. I don’t know.. You tell me if you figure it out.


Friday, October 26, 2012

5% - Thats all you have left

So as usual this post is straight from another one of my Emails. 
This time around to some of my colleagues/friends who are too lazy to go out on weekends.

(Background Info: We are all approx. 27 Years old)

Assuming that you live for 75 Years.
You will have about 3910.714 weekends in your life to relax/enjoy. (Or in you guys cases release/work)
Now assume that you are 27 Years old. (Some a bit more, others a bit less)

You have already gone through 36% of those weekends that you get in your life.

Once you get married let’s say at 30 (too late I know) after that your weekends don’t belong to you.

So as of now you have: 3~4 years more of weekends left with you. 

Or in other words you just have 5% of your entire lives weekends left with you for yourself, before they belong to someone else.

So every weekend when you decide, “I will stay in, not do anything” Just think about what you are losing?

- Choudhary Baba ka Friday Gyaan


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

By the Way

Now to cover the rest of the planet


Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Girl at the Window

My 4 year old niece Neha was supposedly asleep when I heard noises coming from her upstairs bedroom. I tried to listen but could not make out what was being said. I approached the room, and she stopped talking. 

Thinking I alarmed her I went into the room. At the time she was sharing it with her 6 year old sister Varsha. 

I walked in and saw Neha sitting up in bed. I smiled and asked "Is everything Ok?" She said fine, but Varsha said they were keeping her up. 

I asked ”Who?" Neha said sorry that she was talking. When I asked her who she was talking to, Varsha sat up and said "The girl in the window, she said you were coming." 

I asked who the girl was and they both said a girl comes and stands in front of the window at night and talks to them. Not knowing what to say, I said Ok. Tucked them in and hung around outside their door. The next day I asked about the girl. They said she came back but was mad! I waited a few days and asked again. Neha said the girl in the window was still mad. 

I forgot about it for about a week, when my uncle asked, who are the girls talking to upstairs. Freaked out I ran upstairs and both girls were sitting under the window looking up. They turned and looked at me and asked if I wanted to meet the girl.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Soul Walker

We walked everywhere together.. from the sandy beaches..
To the lush green forests
From enjoying the early morning dew drops on the grass
To dipping our toes in the brook
Then one day he left me..

Left me to go to fight another man's war
I was alone.. waiting.. sad...
Thinking he forgot me.. and would never be back

Then he came back.. Yes !! Can you believe it !! he was back home
Back from the war
But.. what is this ? .. Why is he not coming over to me.. Why does he not greet me and take me with him on a long walk

Why is he sitting on that chair with wheels, being pushed around by others


Friday, June 22, 2012

Terror Amongst Us

And here I sit, in my air conditioned office. Waiting for the clock to strike 6 to go home.

My biggest problem is choosing what to have for dinner or thinking of something to do for the day.

I can't even imagine having to question whether I will be alive tomorrow. 

And its sick how my brain can't interpret that as a reality. It just wants to believe it's Bollywood and Hrithik Roshan will pop up and save the day so I can leave the theater and go back to my house. 

But this is life for those people.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Sign Language

Today while riding to work, I saw a little girl standing on the footpath on the side of the road, with a school bag on her back, probably waiting for her bus.
She was standing all alone in the bustling crowd, with a very depressed expression on her face lost to the world staring at her feet.

I was stuck in traffic at this time (Yeah its Bangalore) and couldn’t move. For a moment she looked up probably to search for her bus and we ended up staring at each other.

I had this urge to go and ask her what was wrong, why was she gloomy what was worrying her?
But due to the traffic and me being in the middle of the road on a bike and she up on the footpath, that didn’t seems a viable possibility. 

The Signal turned green, I moved on, but a thought was stuck in my head.

What if everyone in the world knew Sign Language? Wouldn’t it be much easier to communicate with each other? 

You wouldn’t need to be within hearing distance of each other, if you can see the other person and their gestures; you would be able to communicate.

With similar thoughts spinning around in my head , I soon reached the next signal and was stuck again. This time there was an Uncle on a Bajaj Scooter besides me (I didn’t know scooters still existed) so seemed lost. 

He turned to me for what I am assuming was to ask for directions to some place. But he was speaking in Kannada and I don’t speak the language. 
After a few hand gestures I was able to convey to him that I do not understand what he is trying to say.

By this time the signal again turned green and I moved on leaving the Uncle behind. When suddenly another weird thought hit me.

Do Sign Languages also have err.. different languages ? Is the English Sign Language different from let’s say the Chinese Sign Language ? Would a person from one country be able to communicate to a person from another country using the sign languages they have learned in their own countries?

I have not had the opportunity to find out if Sign Languages indeed have different Languages. If any of you know do let me know.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Potty Time Songs

As is generally the case on this blog, the below poem also came out from a spontaneous  chat conversation I was having with a friend, 

You dont need a Hotty.. 
When you have a Comfy Potty..

A Hotty gives you shit for whatever you do..
A Potty takes all the shit you pass her to..

For a need to learn to press the right buttons..
For a Potty.. There is only one.

A hotty makes you run around, Round and Round..
Press a Button and in a Potty everything goes down

You need to buy perfumes to make your hotty smell good..
Well a potty smells..Err… as every other potty should

So listen up my friend..
Forget about the Hotty. When your potty is God Send !!


Wednesday, May 30, 2012


There is an existing looong SQL query which selects some products for a condition where Sub product like ‘%Bill - Option%

Now as a part of an enhancement a request came from a user (via email in Outlook) to add a new Product with Sub Product Bill – Option 
One of my team mates  worked on this and added the new product in a table.. Simple Enough..!!

UAT Started and today the User came back saying that the new product is not being selected.

I was called in for help and after breaking my head for 1 hour determined that the team mate who added the new product, copied the Sub Product name directly from the User’s Email and entered into the table.

Now Microsoft Word on typing a - changes it to a slightly longer version of – .

This is clearly visible here in Outlook but when you look at these two things in SQL. They look exactly the same.


(The two above are different; one is a copy from Outlook the other typed). 

One works, the other doesn’t 
Can you guess which is which?

So a Boon for Word/E-mail writers proves to be a curse for a developer!!

Why am I writing this? Coz I am super frustrated after finding the reason for this  error.

Have a Nice  Day !!


Friday, May 18, 2012

Dead Line

Trupti sat late on a Friday evening in the office. The office was empty as everyone had left on time except her. The office was dark and the only source of light was from her own monitor.
She was stuck trying to debug a particular tricky piece of code. 
This application called SRC had been handed over to her only 6 days ago and she had to remove 4 bugs from the application in a week. 

Trupti was confident that should we able to tackle the issues very easily as she had done multiple times in the past and meet the dead lines comfortably. That was the reason that her supervisor had full faith in her talents and had handed this seemingly easy piece of work to her. This would be the 8th and final project which she would have to complete in 2011.

But this application was proving to be a tricky one. Even after 6 days she was nowhere close to even re-producing the bugs.

After 2 days when she had asked her supervisor if any documentation exists for the code, she was informed that none did. The developer had written none.

Again after 4 days when she had made no progress she asked her supervisor if he knew who the developer was so that she may directly try and contact him and clarify some of her doubts.

Again she was frustrated and intrigued to know that no one knew who had written this application, who the developer was, what was their name or where they were now. Roy in the support team had mysteriously stumbled upon this code one day in Source Safe in a location where he was sure there was no code before.

Today being the last day Trupti wanted to complete her work before Monday so that she wouldn’t need to come to office on the Christmas weekend.

The clock was getting closer to 11:00 now and she had her last office cab at 1:15 in the night.
This was the last hour which she had to find the solution or else her weekend would be ruined.

She delved back in to her system, fully concentrating only on the screen oblivious to her surroundings.
When suddenly she heard the chair from the cubicle across to her squeal. She recognized the voice immediately as that’s where her team mate Megha sat. But Megha had left at 6, then what was she doing now back in the office so late.

She got up to check and was surprised to see a girl who she had never seen before sitting in Megha’s chair staring at her screen which was switched off.
Trupti was taken aback for a moment, but then gained back her senses and thought that this girl might e from the cleaning crew. But she then noticed the Tag and the Id Card around the girls neck. She was from her own company, but her Id Card was of the format which the company had stopped using many years ago.

Trupti finally gathered enough courage to ask the girl who she was and what she was doing here. As the girl looked up at Trupti the clock struck 12 and Trupti was distracted for a second when she turned to look at the Clock. When she turned around the girl was now standing besides Trupti with a sweet smile on her face. Trupti stumbled back stunned. But the girl caught her arm before Trupti would trip over and fall down.

She introduced herself as Archana and told Trupti that today was the first day for her in this office and she was part of a different team. As Archana was getting bored she had come over to see if anyone else was in the office when she had found Trupti.

Trupti then got back to her code as she wanted to leave by taking the cab. Archana offered to help her with the code. They both sat down together and around 1:05 in the night miraculously all the bugs were resolved. Archana did most of the work. It was as if she knew each and every piece of that code like the back of her hand.

Trupti was glad and thanked Archana profusely for her help and that now she can finally leave peacefully.
Trupti started to leave when Archana called her from behind and asked her to come back to the screen to add one final line in the code which they had forgotten.

When Trupti looked at the screen she could see a long list of names and dates in front of them when those people had edited the codes.
Trupti quickly jotted down her name and then noticed the name above her. It was
// Archana Sharma “Dead Line” – 13th August 2003.

The next day in the morning, the cleaning crew found Trupti dead in her cubicle, slumped on her keyboard with a sweet smile on her face.

In front of her the monitor was still on. The code was complete and the Cursor blinked on a line which said yesterday’s date:
// Trupti Bose “Dead Line” – 23rd December 2011


Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Riding down the busy street with absolutely no sense of the crowd, hullabaloo and the people around you.

Riding in a trance, where movements come naturally to every part of the body as and when necessary.

When the sub-conscious takes over and the mind is in a blissful calm taking no decisions, performing no permutations, no computations.

Not thinking ahead.. Not thinking about the past. 
Only the present moment. And a moment which is true unconditional harmony.

The moment stretches itself. It seems endless. Like an eternal infinite journey with no destination in mind.

It's only the moment which matters and the journey in which the moment dwells in. 


Sunday, April 1, 2012

High Intellectual Funda

I was having a discussion with a friend about how a Man and a Woman's brain work differently.

When suddenly this came up:

How I imagine Girls think:

When they come across something new and unknown:
1. Checks to see if any other girl has the same thing.

If No:

2. Checks to see if it can be worn or applied to face.

If No:

3. Checks to see if eaten , will it make her fat.

If Yes:

"Mehh... I didn't like it anyways"

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Non Violence Triumphs Again

Background Information: I am a Bengali who is currently living in Kerala and doesn't speak Malayalam.

It all started just like any other lazy weekend. Getting up at 0500 , not being able to sleep again.. blah .. blah...

Finally at 1600 Hours  I decided to go and get some lunch.
Took my bike , rode on road, went to shop and parked.

Suddenly an Uncle comes out of no-where and starts screaming at me in Malayalam. Now me being sleep deprived on a Saturday afternoon I couldn't understand a single word he was screaming at me.
(Also the fact that I don't speak the language didn't help much I guess)

I tried to explain to him in both English and Hindi that I am not able to understand what he is saying as I don't understand Malayalam.

But uncle continued his screaming match.

Then I pointed to my ear and made the sign that I couldn't  hear him.
(No don't ask me why I did that. I guess in my sleepiness I thought the sign means that I don't understand him... Well anywho.. moving on..)

Finally I was at the end of my wits and after my weird sign language only made the uncle more angry and his screaming increased in pitch.

I started chatting with the Uncle in Bangla, The conversation from my end went something like this:

(Translated from Bangla.. Of Course)
"Hie Uncle, How are you ? Ohh...No Uncle, I haven't seen Kahani yet. I heard that Vidya Balan is really good in that movie."

(Uncle still screaming..)

"She goes to Kolakata in that movie na Uncle ? I have never been to Kolkata, even though I am a Bengali. Too bad right ? I know !!"

(Uncle still going strong..)

"Vidya is a superb actress Uncle, I know she is a Malayalee but she seems right at home in Kolkata in the trailer of the movie"

(Now Uncle slows down his screaming a bit and starts looking at me weirdly..)

"And Uncle the funniest part of the Trailer is when the fat policeman calls her Bidya instead of Vidya as in Bangla they are the same. And uncle do you know about the Climax of the movie .. ?? I heard it's awesome ...."

(At this point, Uncle, Shuts Up.. Turns Around and Walks away..)

So you see Gentlemen and Ladies, Non-Violence Triumphs again.. Gandhi said (or at least people say that Gandhi said so): "If someone slaps you turn your other cheek as well"

Well I say: "If someone slaps you, Starts thanking them in a different language while making weird signs."

What I actually think happened: Uncle heard the words: Kahani, Vidya Balan, Climax.

Probably thought that I am going to disclose the climax of Kahani to him and ran away.

Warning To Readers: "If any of you reveal the Climax in the comments below, before I have seen the movie. I promise you I will hunt you down.. And chat with you in Bangla"


Thursday, March 15, 2012

14th March mm/dd/yy



Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Proved : The World is flat

There is still quite a lot of debate about the earth being round.

I'm pretty sure its not round, and there's actually a really neat little experiment you can do at home that disproves the "round earth" theory: 

  1. Get a round ball.
  2. Put it on top of a larger ball, representing the earth. 

You will notice how the smaller ball will roll off the larger ball, since both are round. 

If, however, you place the same ball on the ground, i.e. on the top of the round earth (the top is where ever you are, because, if the "round earth" theorists are right, the earth is round), you will notice that the ball does not roll off to one side.

This home experiment disproves the "round earth" theory, and it's a really neat trick you can do with the kids to get them involved in science from an early age. 

Kids are the future, you know.


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Yes, I can Cook

To quench the arguments once and for all.

YES.... I CAN COOK !! ...

No, These images have not been copied from the internet.

No, I have not used. Pastes and other automated crap for cooking.

So shut up now


Friday, February 24, 2012

Do you want a Zombie ?

Frustration rises when expectation from other people rises too high.

The heightened frustration level leads to the feeling of lashing out against them 

But when some thought is given to the reasons behind the people's indifference to your expectations; Sanity prevails.

Everyone has their own story and life and no one is bound to behave the way you want them to.

If they did always did things so as to make you happy. They wouldn't be individuals on their own and turn into Zombies.

So my dear friend. It's Ok.  I will learn how to prevail and live on.


Sunday, February 12, 2012

Mission Facebook Impossible

You can make your own Memes/Comic Strips here


Saturday, February 4, 2012

IT Company Appraisal Ghost

I was messaging my friend when suddenly the below conversation happened.

(Ya, I know.. I can be extremely irritating...)

(No even I don't know.. how or why the few friends who I have tolerate me)

Glossary for Non-IT People:

Appraisal: After you work your Ass off through out the year. Someone somewhere decides how your performance was on completely imaginative and speculative criterion of judgement.
Depending upon the Outcome of this 'Appraisal' , Your Salary and Promotions are decided for the next year.

H2: Half-Yearly 2, This aforementioned 'Appraisal' happens twice a year. Hence H1 and H2

Appraisal Discussion: You meet with your Boss/Manager and pretend to go discuss how your fared on the 'Goals' which your manager would have set for you before.
You pretend to have achieved all of the Goals, and your manager pretends to have graded you awesomely well on the Grading Scale.

ODC: 'Off-Shore Development Center' (Fancy name for the office where IT people work)

Swiping the Card: To get inside this 'ODC' you need to have a Magical Card, which you swipe on another magic thingy, which then makes a beep and a big magic door opens. 
Err...Still too difficult to Imagine ?? Think of it as the Hi-Tech version of Alibaba and Chaalis Chor's "KHUL JA SIM SIM".

Band: At the end of your Appraisal. You are given a band between E and A. With E being the worst (but which I pretend stands for Excellent) and A being the best. (Which I consider stands for A$$ Hole).

I don't think I am going to shoot this short film, or as a matter of complete the story. So if you want to take this idea forward. Please feel free to do so.


Thursday, February 2, 2012

Source Code - Movie Review

Recently I have been reading lots of Posts about Movie Reviews, 

So I decided to do one of my own. The Movie I want to review is one which I really Enjoyed.

Movie Name: Source Code.

Click Below to See the Review:

Monday, January 30, 2012



Friday, January 20, 2012

IT Off-Shore Onsite Song

Most of the Big IT companies in our country work on an Onsite (Videsh) and Off-Shore (Swadesh) model.

Which simply means that some of the team members would be working in Firangi land while other members of their team would be slogging in India.

Most of the communication between these teams happen via telephone and due to the difference in Time Zones of the Countries, they usually happen outside the office hours.

Usually the Off-Shore team would be waiting for their Onsite Counterparts to call them or pick up their phone and provide (a very often misused word) "KT" or Knowledge Transition.

While coming back today from work, I was in an Auto listening to a Song by Fort Minor called "Where'd you go".

Now your's truly having been worked in both these situations, (In Firangi Land and in Bharat Mata ki Jai) this song struck an immediate chord with me and I decided to re-word the lyrics a bit to convey what the team mates in the two countries feel about each other.

(Yes it is a mutual feeling both ways, where both the teams in both the countries feel that the other are enjoying themselves)

So here goes: 

Where'd you go?
We miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,

I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the calls always feel so long,

And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
Cause the dial tone always helps me to not feel so alone,

But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when you pick up you don't have much to say,

So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',

Tellin' you that I've had it with you and this career,
Me and the rest of the team here singing 

Where'd you go?
We miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.


Saturday, January 14, 2012


I have been reading lots of Wedding Cards and stories about many people getting married within a year or two of a relationship. How is that a good idea?

Did they realize that they didn't care what happened in life as long as they had each other.

This just seems like the socially driven concept of love, when it (at least for me) isn't an accurate representation at all. 

With all forms of media beating down on us it's really easy to submit to the idea that you'll be so much happier with a man or woman in your life.

So many movies, songs, and books are about, or include, this kind of love. It's a sort of the quick-fix mentality that seems to be plaguing modern culture. 

Not happy? Getting married / in a relationship will make you happy! 

I think more people need to realize, that love is simply what you have with a best friend. Someone you don't need to be around you to be happy, but whom with you always enjoy company. 

Someone you trust without any worry or jealousy. Someone you can say anything or nothing around and not be judged in anyway. This person shouldn't be a source of happiness for you, and neither should you be for them. 

Jealousy really shouldn't exist. Both partners should have complete acceptance of one another.

I'm not saying that having someone else can't help you become happy on your own. 

And of course there are always exceptions and this doesn't apply to everyone!

Eh I guess I'm preaching now, and of course I'm only speaking my views on relationships so who knows what it's worth. Feel free to dis-agree.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Friend Zone

Couple of weeks ago during a random conversation the topic of Friend Zone and came up and I was surprised that people are not aware of (the dangers of) Friend Zone. 

So for the benefit of fellow Human Race (mostly Guys I guess) let me try and describe what this weird phenomena is.

"Friend zone" describes the way most women stop seeing a male friend as dating material after a certain amount of time has passed, even though she might have begun dating them had he acted differently when they first met.

Say there is a man called Rahul of average attractiveness and a woman called Priya. 

Rahul meets Priya. 

Priya thinks "This guy seems nice. He's quite funny and reasonably good looking". 

Rahul doesn't ask Priya out, but they see each other at social functions. 

After a while, Priya stops seeing Rahul as a nice guy who is quite funny and reasonably good looking, and just sees him as My Friend Rahul. But oh no! Rahul realizes he's secretly madly in love with Priya and begins trying to hang out with her more and more. 

Because Rahul loves Priya, he stops behaving reasonably and starts doing anything just to spend time with her and help her out. Eventually, he summons his courage and confesses his love for her. But Priya just feels uncomfortable and confused. She doesn't want to lose her friend, and she feels pressured by his feelings for her. 

To be honest, Rahul's been a little needy and pathetic lately, hanging on her every word and catering to her every whim, and that's not really very nice. And after all she's really attracted to him because he's just My Friend Rahul. So it's not Priya's Fault.

Let's read that again: "IT'S NOT PRIYA'S FAULT". 

If Rahul had the kahunas, he would have had a chance when they first met but he messed it up by not doing anything about it. When he finally got his act together, the friendship that developed actively interfered with his potential of getting the relationship to the next level.

That my FRIENDS is being friendzoned.
(Did you see what I did there ?)


Saturday, January 7, 2012

I am a grown up now

You can make your own Comic Strips here


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A Sign from the God's ?

In most of the movies (at least from the 70s), when the hero doesn't know what to do, he would be in a temple, in front of God and he would get a sign from God, a Flower falling off the status or some such weird co-incidence.

Seems very filmy, But I guess I had the err.. Bad Fortune to experience such a similar situation.

Now at the beginning of November 2011 when I was working in Sydney, I was told that the team I was currently working for needs me back in India, So I have to travel back.

At the same time, when Leads from 2 other teams heard of this , they offered me a place in their teams to stay on in Sydney and work with them instead.

And I had to decide what I need to do, (And if you would have read some of my older posts you might know how bad I am at taking a decision)

As usual, I was confused, confounded, dumb founded as to what my next course of action should be, Stay on in Sydney or go back to India and see what it leads to.

One of my older posts also contained the information that I walk to work everyday with my head phones on and music blaring in them. I usually have a playlist of about 600 Songs which play on Random.

So this was one of the same days, when I was walking home, confused as to what my decision should be about where I want to work.
When Suddenly this song started playing: At  that time the Lyrics could not have been more appropriately written for me.

I shit you not when I say this, The Song was:

Oh nadaan parindey
Ghar aaja..
Ghar aaja..
Ghar aaja..
Ghar aaja..
Kyun desh videsh phire maara
Kyun haal behaal thakha haara

Kyun desh videsh phire maara
Tu raat beraat ka banjaara

Oh nadaan parindey
Ghar aaja..

A freaky co-incidence ? A Sign from the God's ? You decide.

All that I know is that the next week, I turned down the offers I had and now I am back in India.

So it's time to change my About me Page, From saying location Down Under in Sydney, I have to change it to err.. Down..err.. In Apna Bharat Mahaan.

In God's Own Country, Lovely Kerala. 

P.S. : For those of you who don't know this song, There you go:


Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year- tions

This is the Obligatory New Year Post.. 

Last Year I thought of making some Resolutions..
After a lot of Confusion..

I came up with a Solution..
That I would resolve the World's biggest Botheration..

May be solve the problem of Pollution..
Or Stop the practice of Prostitution..
To Study Man's Evolution..
And Like Anna lead them on the next Revolution..

Try and work towards Increased Knowledge Adoption..
And help people with their habit of Alcoholization..
But with such high Aspirations..
You also need some kind of resource Allocations..

And due to the lack of Appreciation..
And a lot of Persecutions..
The Resolutions... would never reach up to Execution..
And all of them ended in Cancellations..

So on this new day of Celebration..
It's time again to put ideas into Conceptualizations ..
Hopefully this year the idea would see the light of Inception..
Until then..All we can do is work towards their Culmination..