Saturday, October 29, 2011

How can you stay Mad - 2

How can you stay mad at this guy ?

This is the second post in the Series of Kitty Cuteness and what Humans can do as a result.

The first can be found here: How can you stay Mad - 1

P.S. I know this sort of humour is not for everyone. Buttt.. Mehh... The Honey Badger doesn't care


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

In-Email(Flight) Passenger Announcements

Email, A very simple mode of communication.
One which I use everyday, and once when I start typing something, without any thoughts or plan , Such Emails can go Haywire.

This post is dedicated to my friend , who after getting the below email first thing in the morning, Did not murder me (Yet)

I am copying the mail as such without any edits

Good Morning <Name Hidden for confidentiality>

Welcome to another new day in your life. 
Please fasten your seat belt, Tray table band kar le, and khidki khuli rakhey...

Seat Belt: Us se kya hoga ?

Seat belt baandhney se aap ek hi jagah pe rahengey.. and life mein kisi bhi goal ke baare mein focussed rehna bahut zaroori hai....

Tray table: Us se kya hoga ?

Tray table band karne se aap apney life ki choti choti luxuries ka tyaag kar rahe hai..But agar aapko life mein kahin pahuchna hai (in this case your flight destination) aapko tyaag karna bahut zaroori hai ..

Khidki Khuli: Us se kya hoga ?

Khidki khuli rakhney se aapko naye naye cheezey dikhegi... jis se aapko naye naye ideas aayengey.. 
Agar aap Kursi peti baandhney (Concentrate on your goals) , Tray table band karne (Make small sacrifices) ke baad bhi apney goal/destination tak nahi pahuch paa rahe hai, to yahi khuli hui khidki aapko naye ideas degi..

Waah Waah.. :D .. Non Stop bakwaas mein to main ekdum expert ho gaya hoo :D ,..

I smell a Blog post coming up :D ;-)

Now enjoy your day knowing ki your daily quota of Awsome Gyaan has been filled up B-)

As they say... if you have friend like me, who needs enemies


Monday, October 24, 2011

I crave for Mediocrity

  • Mediocre 
  • Ordinary 
  • Unexceptional 
  • Typical

Some of the classifications which we all want to break free of. Everyone wants to make their mark in this world. To stand out from the crowd. To Boldly go where No Man/Woman has gone before.

I have a friend who inspires me to think differently. 

Her daily struggle is to be Ordinary, not to stand out from the crowd.
She craves to be one of the millions of faces who you forget as soon as you see them.

She desires no special attention. She wants to be just one of the Gang.

Honouring her wishes, I will not share her profile or her blog link here, as I would be then doing the exact opposite of what she wants.

She is an Autistic and an ORDINARY human being.

You know who you are.

P.S. : Just a humble request to all. Treat everyone as your equal and as Bill and Ted said: Be Excellent to each other.


Whatever comes the Easiest

As usual , his SPAM Folder was full of offers where people from Africa and Oil Rich Countries were ready to transfer all their fortune to him.

He had again won about 2346 different lotteries.

And he also had many lucrative job offers from companies in different countries and all he had to do was transfer 100$ to them for paper processing.

But then one such SPAM mail caught his attention, It wasn’t so different from the others in the folder. Nor did it have the single shred of authencity about it.

But the name of the Company in the Subject line caught his fancy. 
(The Spammer of-course had no connection to the company what-so-ever)

It was the same Company which he had admired since his days in the University. 
The same company which he aspired to work with since the day he had touched the wonderful and magical machine.

But then, he knew that he won’t do anything about it. He had always been taking the easy way out.

Instead of chasing behind his dreams, he always settled. 
He always settled with whatever came the easiest.

He was not a warrior, he never challenged the Status-Quo, he never longed for more then what was available to him.

He was one who THEORITICALLY didn’t believe in “Destiny” or “Luck” or “Fate”.
But I guess he was a Hypocrite, who never tried to make his own destiny.

He only travelled the path which was laid out before him. He took the turns which were offered to him.
He was never a TrailBlaizer, He was never the one who would put his life on the line and pave the untrodden path.

He would inspire people to to try out different avenues, different adventures, do something diverse with their day to day life and he would also lead them and show them the way.

But when it came to his own life, The things that really mattered. The things that shaped his next 10 years to come. 
He would always back down and would continue on what came next.

He dreams every single day of what he could have done with his life, or what he can do, or what he should do. 
But never gets to doing it.

He settles with whatever comes the easiest. 


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Google+ Photowalk Sydney

Well today is the big day for all of us here in Sydney Australia we have our first ever Google+ photo walk hosted by Michael Sutton , Gretchen Chappelle and Giuseppe Basile and supported by Lockey McGrath from Google and many more Google employees.

As of the time of creating this post we have 144 people registered for the walk.

We will be walking from the Archibald Fountain in Hyde Park making our way down to Circular Quay then up to Observatory Hill where Google will be putting on drinks for everyone.

During the walk today we will be visiting a few of the Art and About exhibits more can be found about them at and for the iPhone users coming yes there is an App for that at

The QR Code attached is the route we plan on taking today.

Scan the code --> Click View when the page opens --> Open the file in Google Earth/Maps

RSVP by filling out this form here ---> 

4pm @ Archibald fountain in Hyde park.
Link to google maps here --> 
We'll check out a couple of Art&About installations in the city (see cool photos of the art from Andrew Quilty ), make our way through the botanical gardens and finish up around Circular Quay.

Any camera type is welcome from disposable film, smartphones right up to high-end DSLRs.

After the photowalk we're going to cool off with a drink or two around Circular Quay where we'll get a chance to mingle & check-out each others photos from the day.

Hope to see many of you there.

Information for this post has been taken from Giuseppe and Michael posts on Google+ 


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

If it can be Googled, don't ask me

For anyone who comes to me with Stupid Questions. I have the following:

Rule of thumb: If it can be Googled, don't ask me!

Unless of course:

A. You are too lazy to Google it, so you rather use me to do it for you.

B. You don't have time to Google it, so you rather use my time to do it for you.

C. You don't trust Google, in which case you trust that I might end up Googling it anyways..(circularity here..)

D. You already searched in Google, to no avail.

E. You can't Google (that's sad).

F. Your question is really unGooglable. (What kind of question is that?)

G. You want the human element in the mix, you want to interact with me (how nice of you).

H. Other possible scenarios (?).


Friday, October 14, 2011

Why do boys don't need a Girl Friend

Sorry the women of the world. But I couldn't help it.

When people share something on Social Networking sites, I don't know why, But I always get a weird itch, which makes me want to always respond to them or to put it correctly. Always dis-agree with them.

So another post which was a response to one of my friend's Facebook Status updates:
The original facebook post:

And my response:

Why do boys dont need a girl friend ?
Coz she

-will never leave u alone . Even when you ask her to. PERIOD
-will see to it that u cant get any of ur work done
-will make sure u don't skip to pay for her meals..
-will ask u to leave all ur habits everyday, everytime..
-will fight with u.
-will spend all your money
-will be the reason for all your worries
-will make u punctual when something needs to be done for her..
-will help u restrain ur making it a constant state of mind all the time
-will talk to you 15 times a day to know what you're doing..Even when you are in the middle of work and she clearly knows that you cant talk.

You will feel bugged all the time, and the truth is you can do everything without her.

P.S.: I know , another offensive post. Now bring on the hate.

P.P.S.: This post was written not from what I believe but to annoy my facebook friends who day in and day out post such mushy idiotic messages


But again I Digress

Ok, Here we go..

(DAMN ! You meeting invites, leave me alone on a Friday) .. 
(After 3 hours , 5 coffees and 4 conference calls) Ok.. This time, let’s definitely go.

But Again I Digress, - These used to be my 3 favorite words. 

(Ohh.. wait a minute, that’s 4 words)  Anyways moving on.

So as I was saying, These 'n' number of words were my favorite which I used to use in almost every post I ever wrote.

Why You ask me ? 

(Ok, even if you don’t ask me I will still tell you anyways. It’s not like you have a choice, Since I am the one writing and you are the one reading.)

Yes, so where were we? Ohh yes... Why did I digressed such a lot, 
Simple Da/Ra/Macha/Bondhu/Mitra/Yaar/ Hot Female/Not So Hot Female/Any Female..
(Really a female reading what I write. Bucket List No 67 - Accomplished)

I Digress because I have a very small attention span. If I start talking about one thing, pretty soon I would be talking about the weather in Timbaktoo and then move on to the Global Financial Crisis and finally ending with discussing the receipe of the awsome Chicken Curry that I make.

But in the past month or so, I have been staying more or less ON TOPIC when it comes to posts on this blog. And I am starting to miss all my useless/mindless/directionless ramblings.

People’s expectations have risen by a great degree. They have started to categorize me as:

  • Funny Bloke
  • Gyaan Pradaan karne wala Guru
  • Bestest Awsomest Cartoon Maker
  • Etc Etc ..

But I am none of those things. I love to DIGRESS and say that DIGRESSING is my birth right and … Ohhh… look… its raining outside.

UPDATE: I hope someone understands what I am trying to say here. But I doubt it. And as I always say: Sarcasm is a Lost Art


Thursday, October 13, 2011

What makes you content in life ?

Another day and another post taken from one of my Emails to my colleagues.

This post was a response to an Email from my boss:

"What makes you content in life.. Money..Achievements & Recognition (Awards )..Or the smaller things the cliched ‘good bottle of wine and a good book/movie’ or writing defect less code , going on crazy & adventurous trips etc

And more importantly ..when do you think you are content..Will you be able to realise it when you get there…will you stop your “Search for Happyness"

My Reply is below:
(There might be lots of typos and grammatical mistakes, which I don't want to correct, as this mail was written in the heat of the moment and I think should remain so.)

Content/Happiness/Satisfaction… Is a very nimble and rapidly changing State of mind

This state of Satisfaction varies with Time and situation in life.

A Normal Human being (including me) I can’t put a finger on a commodity, an achievement or a state if mind and say:

If I achieve “THIS” I would be satisfied with my life

The Mythical State of Nirvana, in this modern world is exactly that a MYTH

If I wanted to Generalize I would say something like below:
(And as it is true for most generalizations, this again might be false)

Assumption: The character in discussion here is a Male from a Middle class family and lives a more of less Common Lifestyle without too many extra-ordinary events.

Or in other words, A Mediocre Man’s life

If I was to plot the Level of Satisfaction with a Person’s age . Explanation below
(My first ever Excel Graph- So be kind)

Age Satisfaction
1 100  When a child is young, I believe he is most satisfied.

His most pressing concern is food and sleep.

5 90 As he grows a bit older, Priorities change and Materials/Articles and Immaterial things like Toys, start taking Priority as well.

But even the Child is quite satisfied

10 70 Around Age 10, the child’s satisfaction now beings to be manipulated and also dependent on not only his, but his parents’ wishes as well.

They may take away his toys, reduce his play time, not let him watch his favorite TV Show, if they think that the Child needs to study more etc.

So now is the stage, when the Level of Contentment is being stimulated, controlled and affected by other’s wishes

15 50 At the onset of teenage, this is the stage when the child is now growing up.
The child thinks of himself as a “Person”, capable enough of making his own decisions and formulating and controlling his own path in life.

But at this stage, the parents still conceive the teenager as a child, who doesn’t know and understand the world around him. Who still needs their guidance and Holding Hands to keep the child safe.

So this is also the stage of the greatest conflict between a parent and child.

22 80 Around 22, I am assuming that the person is now educated and has also acquired a job
(Yaa.. I know.. big assumption)

So he is at the onset of his new career, about to embark on a new journey of his life, where he is finally not controlled by his parents but gains the independence to make his own decisions and be free
25 50 But the same job which was satisfying to the person at 22 , starts to seem like a hindrance, a diatribe to him now,

He wishes to move on, to break free to bigger and better things in life,

He strives to bring a change to his boring routine. This is also the time when for some the dreams of Grandeur begins,

When the person starts to believe that he should do something to change the world, something to shape the consciousness of the human kind.

Do something which makes him matter as an human being

27 80 Around this age, let’s assume that guy gets married,
(And I am assuming a happy marriage for him) so he is happy.

He is satisfied with his new job, his new life, his new journey of life and this time with a partner

29 40 Now the person, who was once a child and content in his life, becomes a father, and has a child of his own.

He is now worried about the well being of his child and overwhelmed with the responsibilities that bringing a child into this world associates with itself.

His life goes haywire. This is also the start of the Constant phase of Dis-Satisfaction of his life

35 30 The first child is now in school and the second one is on its way.

The state of anarchy continues.

45 40 The children now need to go to college, pursue higher studies in foreign universities.

Our person is constantly trying to keep up with the Rat race and is continuously losing and falling behind.

The needs and wants always seem to outweigh what is available and plausible

60 70 Our person finally is at the end of his Rat Race, he has done it,

He has completed his part of life.

His children are now settled in their jobs and roles and responsibilities in life and finally the person has time to stop and take a breath

80 60 And just when he thought that good times are here to stay.

His health starts to fail him.

The constant medication-hospitals, and sometimes the children who now don’t care about the person bring down his level of contentment

At the end he is finally happy and content, when he passes on from this world.

Its now that he is finally out of the race and reached his ultimate destination

But as one journey ends, another begins, and now its his son’s/daughters time to go through the same vicious cycle .
And the world moves on.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

How can you stay Mad - 1

How can you stay mad at this guy ?


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

India created Apple

Today morning I had a chat conversation with one of my colleagues, when he pinged me a what I suppose is a Head Lines from The Times of India.
The transcript is below:

Colleague 10:07 AM
The monk who sold Apples
times of india wala

Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:08 AM
India Says: We made him the Monk that he was
So Indians are the ones who changed the World of Computing

Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:08 AM
Congress Steps up and declares: We were in Power when he visited

Colleague  10:08 AM

Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:08 AM
So gandhi family takes all credit

Choudhary, Shrijeet 10:09 AM
Then RSS and BJP retort , that Steve went to meet some baba so Hindutva Prevails

And then Kerala and Bengal mein Strike.. Why didnt Steve Jobs visit these two places, Lets BoyCott all Apple Products
Cholbey Naa...Cholbey Naa...

Colleague   10:10 AM
ha ah ha

Ok now back to work...

DISCLAIMER: I am not-political and don't support or give a DAMN about any of these parties. 
So if some of you find this offensive. Feel free to close the window and go and went your resentment some place else


Monday, October 10, 2011

Uninvited Unknows

You meet someone, and after Hi, Hellos and few laughs move on.

But what if these Unknowns decide to stay and follow you around ? Meddle and Mess in everything you do. 

You keep on wondering, Did I send the wrong message ? Was it not clear from the beginning that the initial Hie, will also have an associated Bye ?

These Uninvited Unknowns have the Uncanny habit of getting on your nerves and driving you insane all within the span of a few minutes.

No matter how much to try and ignore them, They would still linger around the edges and just when you think you have got rid of them, They pop in again like an Idiotic Ghost in a B Grade Horror Movie.

You don't want to be rude and harsh with them and ask them to DASH OFF once and for all, And you can't stand them being around.

SIGH !! .. A dilemma I face day in and day out and the count of Uninvited Unknowns keeps on rising.


A Simple Man

He was the Driver at the small village hospital where my dad was posted as a Doctor.
His job was to drive the Ambulance, the Government Hospital Jeep and every feasible/available vehicle at the hospital.

When I was a kid he was my best friend, as who else to run to but the “Driver Uncle”.

The Uncle who can take you for free joy rides around the village, drop you off to school occasionally when you are running late (which was very often). 
Take you to the sweet shop to get Samosa-Jalebi in the evenings.
Come to pick you up at the small village bus-stand when you get back from your journeys.

He was a simple man, with a simple small family. 
One son and one daughter, who were both elder to me. (My playmates)
He was very resolute about their education and extremely strict when it came to their homework or exam.

Being a kid I never understood the reason behind this. For me he was dragging away my friends from the playground when we were just getting into the final part of the silly games that kids play.
For me it was an enigma as to why Driver Uncle would be so strict on small kids for their homework.

Years passed. I moved away to a bigger cities for my own education with occasional visits to the village where dad was still posted.
Driver Uncle would still be there at the Bus-Stand with a smile on his face and ready to buy and share a plate of Samosa’s from the vendor.

I would sheepishly say a formal hello to him, enquire about his family and then commence an awkard silent journey to home.

This continued for many years, until the time I last went home before I had to leave to join my new job.
I spent a couple of weeks at home and when it was time for me to leave. Driver Uncle was again there to drop me off at the Bus-Stand.

This time around, the journey was not a silent one. He asked me a simple question: “आप क्या बनने वाले हो ?
(Translation: So what are you going to become now?)

I was intrigued and confused at the same time as to how to explain to a simple village man what a Software Enginner is.
I tried to dumb down things and mumble something like: “मैं दिन भर कंप्यूटर में बैठ के काम करने वाला हूँ . वैसा कंप्यूटर जैसा की अपने हॉस्पिटल के ऑफिस में रखा है.”

(Translation: “I am going to be working on computers all day long.A similar kind of machine what is present in our hospital’s office”)

To this he asked me the name of the Company where I would be working. I was again baffled as to how to tell him the name of my company and would he even know of it.

He said: “मेरे दोनों बच्चे भी बैंगलोर में काम करते है , इन्फोसिस में , हो सके तो आप उनसे मिल लेना .”

(Translation: Both my kids are working at Bangalore in Infosys; If possible do meet up with them)

He continued: “बहुत अच्छी बात है की आप लोग सब पढ़ लीख के अच्छा काम करने जा रहे हो . बहुत ज़रूरी है ज़िन्दगी में बड़ा सोचने की. 

हर कोई बचपन में  सोचता है , मैं डॉक्टर बनूँगा, मैं इंजिनियर बनूँगा .

और एक मैं था . मैं बचपन से ही सोचता था, मुझे गाड़ियां पसंद थी . मैं बचपन से ही सोचता था मैं बड़ा होके ड्राईवर बनूँगा.”. 

(Translation: “It’s really good that all of you are going to do good jobs after getting your education. It’s very important in life to think big. 

Everyone when they are kids think about becoming a Doctor, or an Engineer when they grow up. 

But me, I loved automobiles since I was a kid. I always wanted to be a Driver when I grow up.”)

बस यही ख़ुशी है की अपने बच्चे अच्छी जगह पहुच गए.”

(Translation: “I am happy that all the kids have ended up in good positions in life.”)

I was tounge tied as to what to reply to this Simple Man, who never thought for a Big Goal for himself. Had simple wants and needs for his own life. 

And ended up acheviecing his goal of what he wanted to become in life. 

But it was this same simple man who understood that his kids should achieve far more then he did and strived to accomplish what he envisoned for them.

A Simple Man who realized what he set out to become and got his kids to the position in life where he envisoned them to be.

A Simple Man who was through with running the rat race which we all are a part of everyday. We who always want more and are never satisfied with what we have.

I hope that someday I can be in the same position as the Simple Man, at peace with my life and content with what I have done with the small amount of time I have.


Saturday, October 8, 2011

House Keeping

Unlike most bloggers, I don't write about one Simple topic or about a Single theme or Idea.

My topics may vary each and everyday incoherently, and I guess that's mainly due to how I write.

If I get a thought in my head which I think needs to be put down on paper. I start banging on my keyboard until something appears on the screen.

Most of my posts are written and published within a span of 15-20 minutes from the time I start writing them.
And even in those 20 minutes, if I lose the momentum or get busy/distracted with someone/something else. I leave those posts as such.

I write in the heat of the moment, without so much as a second review of what I have written (Other then a Spell check maybe).

Many people have suggested to me that I should concentrate on one topic and stick to it. But that's never going to happen.
This is not the place for me to stick to one topic.

It's due to this reason, that many of my readers and friends are quick to classify this blog into very broad categories.

If you would have read this blog about 2 years ago, You would only have seen, depressing, philosophical posts about ..well... about everything.

Since past 1 year, I guess I have deviated to writing more of what people consider as humour (but which I think is the normal way of life for me).

Then again some of my friends are complaining that I have stopped writing now and starting making more of cartoons.

And I know myself that in these past years, I have ended up rambling and taking out my frustration on this blog many a times.

So today I finally decided to clean things up a bit, arrange them and help the readers find what they are looking for.

So you would see a Bar up top now (No not that kind of a bar) with links to the broad categories which I think I write about. i.e. :

  • Humour
  • Philosophy
  • Cartoons
  • Diary
  • Ramblings

The posts classified among these broad topics may again mix and match as much of my philosophy is derived from what I go through.
And many of my humorous posts are stories about what took place in my life.

Hope this helps someone keep their sanity


Friday, October 7, 2011

I hate you Coffee Snobs

Coffee Snobs, I hardly ever came across them when I was in India. 
At work I had 2 (free) choices. Press a button on an ancient machine and get either 

  • Tea
  • Coffee (mostly hot water)

If I wanted to splurge in a proper Café , I would then have 3 broad classifications:

  • Cold Coffee (with Icy Bits)
  • Hot Coffee (with Steam coming out)
  • Weird-Looking-Colourful-Drinks (with weird names)

But since coming to Sydney, I see coffee snobs all around me, always with an opinion on what kind of Coffee Beans to use, or how they should be grounded, or how much milk/sugar/water and what not to mix in them.

What follows now: Is a confession and No I am not ashamed of it.

I like those Weird Looking Colorful Drinks, Yes. I do !!

When ever I would go to any café with my friend, I would always order a color ful drink with names like: Chilli Morkel, Ginger Fizz, WaterMellon Sparkel etc etc. And she would order some or the other Hot Coffee. 

Chilli Morkel

Ginger Fizz

No Idea what its called

The waiter would serve the hot drink to me, and the colorful drink to her. Which then I would proudly exchange and start sipping on sweet colorful drinks.

Why this Gender discrimination I ask you?  Can’t a guy order a colorful looking drink? And a girl normal Coffee?

(But after some regular visits, even the waiter understood that I am the one who orders weird drinks and then on he served correctly)

In my office in Sydney, we have a coffee machine on our floor with so many thinga-majigs that it would confuse Einstein as to which buttons to press and what drink would come out.

I like my Hot Coffee Sweet, So I mix Chocolate Powder in it and lots of Sugar, with Milk before pressing the button for Capuchino. The congregation which is then formed, I like to call it as ...err.. No I dont have a name for it All Right !!.

But Noooo.. The coffee snobs wouldn’t leave me alone here as well. And today morning I finally lost my temper and had a go at them.

Coffee Snob:Woww So much sugar, Dude you are not supposed to mix so much sugar in a coffee” That’s not how a coffee is supposed to be made. It should be dark and strong with a burnt aroma of the powder.

Frustrated Me:Ohhh Yaa.. and who makes those rules? Who was the GodFather of Coffee Drinking who had these rules written down on a stone tablet and passed them to Moses to preach to the world?

Me:Tell me Coffee Snob, If there are so many rules to drinking coffee, What do you think was on the mind of the first guy who thought. Hmmmm.. those beans on that tree looks interesting… let me crush them, mix them with some hot milk and drink that. And I name this drink Coffee.

Me: Or while we are on the subject. Who do you think was the first genius who decided on looking at a cow, Hmm.. Let me sexually molest that animal, press those dangly things on that cow and drink whatever comes out (milk)

Me:Dude.. I drink what I like, and maybe someday your grand-son would be preaching to someone else in a similar office: Man.. That’s now how the great Shrijeet used to make his cofffee.. You are all wrong !!

So my dear coffee snobs. Stop behaving as if you are the God’s Final word to coffee drinkers around the world. And leave us poor souls alone. And let us all enjoy what we want to drink.



Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Save the Fellas

The phone conversation usually goes like this:

Him: How are you?

Her: Ok.

Him: What's wrong??

Her: Nothing.

At this point fellas you should abandon ship and get out of the house before she gets home!