Sunday, April 3, 2011


DISCLAIMER: I know what Ignorance means, and in what context it needs to be used. But for this theory I use it in a non-contemporary way. If any of your grammar snobs out there have any issues please take it up with my lawyer.

Annoying’: A word defined as Causing vexation or irritation; troublesome.
Ignore’: Defined as Refuse to take notice of or acknowledge; disregard intentionally.

I am presenting here today my theory of the different levels and extremities of the combination of these two above words and how they interlink and lead to one other

So the least serious and most common appearance of this occurs when; the second word is usually a reaction as a direct action to the first word, i.e. when someone annoys/vexes/irritates you. You ignore that person.

But what happens when the reaction transpires without the action. When there is no annoyance but when you act as a consequence of past experiences and inhibitions. 
May be this can be called as a case of Chronic Ignorance
Come on you all know what I am talking about, especially in this era of eternal connectivity when the first thing you do in the morning is not brush your teeth but check your mail/Facebook.

I define Chronic Ignorance as the person who you ignore no matter the time or the day or the situation. For example: You have them on your Ignore/Hide/Appear Invisible as/Never appear as online options (Depending on the software you are using) and if your software/website doesn’t provide you with these options you go into Invisible Mode/Log-off yourself.

The millions and millions of female readers of my theories are right now nodding their head and saying to themselves ‘Do people not do this’. 
Now some of the guys might be surprised and enlightened at the same time by the above paragraph here as they have always been on the receiving end of this Chronic Ignorance.

Come on guys you know what I am talking about. Your School/College crush, your hot/cute colleague/neighbour , your X GF who always needs to go and complete some or the other obligation at the  exactly the same moment in time when you hurriedly login see that she is online and hastily send an enthusiastic  ‘Hieeeeeee !!!!!111 :D ’ when you see them online on your friend list
Please notice the use of the Smiley face and the fervent use of exclamation marks which always seem to end with a trail of 1s. (Damn !!!1 that Shift button)

And that brings me to the 3rd  and last scenario which I like to call Selective Ignorance. The one which is most prevalent around on the World Wide Web.
Again I apologize to my Female readers who already know what I am talking about, but I still need to go into details explaining the details and technicalities of this theory for the benefit of my brothers out there.

Ok So DUDEs listen up. The case of Selective Ignorance again starts up similarly to the case of Chronic Ignorance, i.e. with a ‘Hieeeeeee !!!!!111 :D ’ or in some cases you seeing a new photo/status update on some girls Facebook page and literally banging on your keyboard without even looking as to what you are typing and rushing your mouse pointer to click on the Like Button and proclaim that you are the first and the only one to like or comment something lame ass like ‘Awww… So Cute’ .. ‘You are looking very nice in that Saree’. And by the time you comment/like and the page refreshes your words usually are ‘WTF..’ as you see the 23 other comments and 47 likes creep up in the time it took you to click that like and comment.
(Well buddy what else did you expect. Face it, Every other high hormone guy out there had the same brilliant idea as you did)

And then the endless process to refresh the page to check if your comment has been replied to starts. You await for that ultimate reward where the Chick comments again: ‘@PutYourNameHere ..hehehe.. TY .. ? So sweet fo you' . But then you start realizing as you see the chicks comments come in one by one, where she is replying to all but you.

Sorry my Bewildered Brother, You have just become the victim of the most prevalent drill out there being defined by me as ‘Selective Ignorance’.
But now it doesn’t stop there, as there is a reaction by the guy to the action of Selective Ignorance. This reaction usually comprises of sending multiple Emails/Messages/SMSs/Tweets or whatever the young generation uses now a days. The prĂ©cis of all these above modes of communication is to gain an understanding as to the missing reply to the original comment.

Now by the time this takes place you have already lost it buddy and your case of Selective Ignorance is very well on its way to becoming a case of Chronic Ignorance.

FootNotes: Now my theory here generalises that the victims of these levels of Ignorance are usually the male of the Human Species and it’s caused by the Female, but that’s not always the case. 
It has been personally observed, experienced and noted by the writer that even the male of the species can act on along the lines of Selective or Chronic Ignorance.
And that too not only towards the female, but also towards their chaddi-buddies who always ask you for money or some other favors.

An extreme and prolonged case of Chronic Ignorance may lead to the creation of a Stalker (both male and female)

So finally to conclude: My dear brothers in arms. Go forth with this new found knowledge and try and think and check yourselves before you click on that Like button.



Unknown said...

Well as an accomplished practitioner of both chronic and selective ignorance.....i thank my "Chaddi-Buddy" for enlightening the AAM-JANTA about these concepts !!

cosmic_wanderer said...

Mr. Shady,
I thank you for your valuable comment and would like to implore you to spread the message for the good of the 'Bro-Kind'

Shreya Chadha said...

Ummm.. No dedication for 'Inspiration" :D

cosmic_wanderer said...

As a great thinker once said to me. "There is more fame in anonymity" ... ;)

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