Saturday, January 14, 2012

Codependency

I have been reading lots of Wedding Cards and stories about many people getting married within a year or two of a relationship. How is that a good idea?


Did they realize that they didn't care what happened in life as long as they had each other.


This just seems like the socially driven concept of love, when it (at least for me) isn't an accurate representation at all. 


With all forms of media beating down on us it's really easy to submit to the idea that you'll be so much happier with a man or woman in your life.


So many movies, songs, and books are about, or include, this kind of love. It's a sort of the quick-fix mentality that seems to be plaguing modern culture. 


Not happy? Getting married / in a relationship will make you happy! 


I think more people need to realize, that love is simply what you have with a best friend. Someone you don't need to be around you to be happy, but whom with you always enjoy company. 


Someone you trust without any worry or jealousy. Someone you can say anything or nothing around and not be judged in anyway. This person shouldn't be a source of happiness for you, and neither should you be for them. 


Jealousy really shouldn't exist. Both partners should have complete acceptance of one another.


I'm not saying that having someone else can't help you become happy on your own. 


And of course there are always exceptions and this doesn't apply to everyone!

Eh I guess I'm preaching now, and of course I'm only speaking my views on relationships so who knows what it's worth. Feel free to dis-agree.

THIS IS COSMIC BLASTING OFF !!!!!!!!

6 comments:

Pooja Sridhar said...

Quite an interesting observation. I don't know what 'love' is.I still am trying to define it. But, I still love the feeling of 'love' which I think is 'love'.

Relationships are quite weird. Trying to define them is one Herculean task.
But, I do agree that if you can be yourself with the other person, then it is perfect, regardless of many other things.
Well..someone did tell me that we do not find the perfect person, we find the person and then make things perfect around him/her. I believe in it completely now.

P.S: Now you have got me thinking about the post much more deeply.

Shrijeet Roy Choudhary said...

We do not find the perfect person, we find the person and then make things perfect around him/her

Ahaa.. Simple and Makes Sense :) ..

Agreed, Relationships can be extremely confusing and no one can use a Single Yard Stick to measure and define and generalise any of them.

Every person has their own stories and their own deductions and lessons learnt for them.

Ramakant Pradhan said...

I shouldn't think people taking the decision to tie the nuptial knot are as casual as you some of your lines make them seem. There maybe exceptions, but most folks need to be mentally prepared before they take the plunge. I agree on the point of view of love. There is no place of jealously or mistrust in a relationship.

Aakriti said...

Hmm...Hey Shri...I think that the age we are living in..very few ppl really realize. I wonder they ever do? what it means to be in a relationship.
in their early teen years they weaken their heart and play not only with others but with their own emotions. Collg years: lets have some fun. So may flings...Jab tak shaadi ki baari ati hai..tab tak experience acha khasa hota hai..par ek asli insaan hi pehchaan khatam ho jati hai..So well as u said. If a gyu/ girl has been hanging around with someone for even more than a year, and feels tht it can be taken forwrd, and so it is...there's so much more to this. And this is just one of the small angles to view it..

Ana_treek said...

The grass is always greener on the other side, right? When you are single, you want love and when you are in a relationship, you want out. Love is just a fad, its a compromise, "Oh! my friend has a bf, I don't"..I dont even know what love means, I think we can only love ourselves and no one else!

Subhorup Dasgupta said...

A whole lot of very thought provoking triggers in this post, my friend. At the root of it is the confusion between happiness and dependency. True happiness is a state of mind which is not dependent on any external factor. The reason that most relationships flounder after the first burst of intensity is that people identify the so called lows of a relationship with unhappiness and dissatisfaction, and perhaps an indicator that the relationship is not working. Your title of the post also links to the concept of codependency as an addiction. It is in no way different from addiction to drugs or alcohol.

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