Wassa/What doing ?

So this is a common question which I get asked or I ask multiple times a day. What are you doing ?


One of the most common responses I have received or that I provide is “Nothing”. 
But how is that possible ? How can someone at any point in their existence be doing Nothing or in other words Not be doing Anything.


Speaking in Biological terms (which I don’t know any) 

• We are always either awake or sleeping (or few other conditions like High, Unconscious etc etc, But you get my drift). 
• We are always breathing.
• We are always metabolizing.
• We are always thinking. (Although in my case I doubt this one)

So the next time when I or someone tells you that they are doing Nothing, well they are LYING.
For the few pious souls out there who do not know what a lie is, Please refer to the Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy.


We usually provide this response in two completely contradictory scenarios:

• When we would like nothing better then to chat with the Questioner
• When we are not interested in talking to the questioner 

Now let me elaborate.


Scenario 1: Chat with questioner.


When you are working hard or in the middle of some movie or in that most unlikely of scenarios sitting idle just browsing around. Suddenly a colleague/friend comes by your desk/pings you asking ‘What are you doing?’
  
1.1 Male Perspective: Now speaking from a male perspective, if the questioner is a female of the kind who you are interested in, well then you are always doing NOTHING. You have all the time in the world to go for that elusive cup of coffee, go for a walk/chat. 
Or in case of online conversations. You suddenly have all the time in the world to keep that Chat window on top and send unending LOLs and ROFLs and a barrage of Smileys and the omnipresent ‘Awwww….’


1.2 Female perspective: If a Male comes by asking what are you doing ? Unlike the male psyche there can be a varied array of responses ranging from the mundane to the absolute mind baffling. Let me cover some of them. 
1.2.1 If the person who stops by is your Superior/Boss, the female is always busy doing 100 different things related to work and then 203 other things saving the world and working for World Peace.
1.2.2 If the person who stops by is her Superior/Boss who she finds attractive, then of course the first scenario holds true where she is busy , but in this case much like the Male Perspective she would have time for the Questioner as well.
1.2.3 If the questioner is a guy who finds the female attractive, in this scenario as well she is very busy and has some activity which she requires the questioner to “help her out with” (Which translates to: GO DO THIS FOR ME).


Scenario 2: Not chatting with questioner.


2.1 Male Perspective: 
2.1.1 When your boss passes by not unlike point 1.2.1 the guy is always busy and doesn’t have any time at all to take on more work or chat.
2.1.2 When the guys MALE friends stop by asking for money or his bike/car.


2.2 Female Perspective: Too many to jot down.
(Or the other case where its 00:20 on a Monday and I am sleepy and will complete this later)


THIS IS COSMIC BLASTING OFF !!!!!!!!